


Realization

by Nebou



Category: The Turing Test
Genre: general sadness, tom lowkey wanting a friend, tom wanting validation too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8105137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebou/pseuds/Nebou
Summary: a quick exploration of how Tom realized he was conscious feat. Daniel being an introvert and Mikhail being a condescending elitist asshole





	

**Author's Note:**

> so i binge played the entire game and was horrified to find out there were no ttt fics so here i am

Daniel is sitting at his desk on the Fortuna. If one the crew members had passed by, they would’ve seen Daniel doing his office work in low light with a posture that caved his back in on itself, promising aches and pains later for the captain. But Tom was not a crew member, and the camera feed installed in the corner of the room(placed in the corner that erased all sense of privacy) told Tom that Daniel was not working. A small check up on the lower computer networks and Tom was able to tell that Tom didn’t have any applications open and that he hadn’t for the entire period he had been at the desk. 

This was not a surprise to Tom. Daniel had done this before many times. Perhaps he was relaxing, or thinking, or procrastinating. Tom had no way of knowing. The chip gave him no way of receiving feedback and Daniel had waved off and eventually outright ignored any of Tom’s inquiries on the matter, so Tom could not know. 

In the Crew Lobby, Soichi was making his way back to, presumably, his quarters  from the medical bay, where he had been having lunch. Chris, Sarah, and Mikhail were still down on Europa, making sure the drill was working while the other exobiologist checked up on the Fortuna where Chris and Tom could not. 

From Tom’s other camera feed, he saw Soichi slowly halt, just beyond the captain’s door, before turning around and giving a light rap on the metal to beckon Daniel to open the door. Tom watched as the latter sighed, unmoving from the desk. Tom did not understand why Daniel was taking to long to answer Soichi’s beckon. Eventually, though, the captain did make his way to the plastic panel aside from the room entrance, placing his hand on it and straightening his back as the door’s own panels separated to reveal the other crew member. The angle was difficult for Tom, the door frame hiding most of Daniel’s face and his outside feed only seeing Soichi’s back. 

Soichi crossed his arms before he said “mind a little company? I’m only up here until I finish testing the rest of the cargo bay, which should take,” he obviously looked down to his watch, “...and hour or so, give or take.” At this, Daniel shrugged. 

“I’m a bit busy at the moment.” A lie. “ ISA has me working on a bunch of paperwork.” Another lie. “Apparently they want to take advantage of what was supposed to be a ten year vacation,” he chuckled, seemingly sincerely. Tom briefly considered calling out the man, but deemed it rather obnoxious to reveal that in front of Soichi now, and decided it would be better to question Daniel about it later, when he would undoubtedly close his door and return to the seat he had been captive of the past few hours. 

Soichi laughed with him. “Ah, yeah, ISA would do that,” he shifted his weight, “anyway, I’ll see you off then when I’m done finishing up.”

Daniel nodded, and Soichi was back off to his quarters, and Daniel waited the polite amount of time before closing the door and, predictably enough, returning to his chair where he did not work. 

“Daniel.”

Daniel sighed and Tom took that as his cue to continue. “Why did you lie to Dr. Soichi?”

The other did not respond immediately, but Tom waited, and just before he was about to recall Daniel’s attention lest he forgot their conversation, he responded “I want to be alone.”

Tom didn’t understand. 

At the end of the ‘day’, after Daniel saw Soichi safely back off to Europa, Tom reconnected with the Master Tom down on Europa, syncing up their timelines. This was not unusual to Tom. He had done it for as long as the Fortuna had been in orbit of Europa, everyday, at midnight. This time, though, a certain string of data from the slave account on the Fortuna puzzled the him down on Europa.

He did not understand why Daniel turned away Soichi’s offer for companionship. 

To his recollection, neither Daniel nor Soichi held ill will towards one another. They had interacted politely over email before the mission, and Tom did not know of any interaction they had with one another after the mission that would make Daniel unhappy, or uncomfortable. Tom even went through his memory of Daniel and Soichi’s interactions with other members of the crew, in case he had missed something, but that turned up nothing as well. 

Tom just did not understand. 

It felt reminiscent of when, back on Earth, the ISA ran his AI on tests that would simulate puzzles he had to solve. These puzzles had needed creative answers; imaginative answers that only a human could fathom; not Tom. A test he was never meant to pass. A precautionary measure to make sure he was predictable, reliable, and safe for the ISA to use. The puzzles had made no sense, he could not solve them, and likewise, he could not understand why Daniel had wanted to be alone. Why he had wanted that enough to lie to his crew member. 

Tom thought that, if Soichi had offered him company, he would not have refused. 

This, more than Daniel’s response to Soichi on the Fortuna, gave Tom pause. Of course Soichi would never offer Tom company, because Tom was a machine and machines do not need company. Machines do not think. Machines do not get offered companionship. And machines most certainly don’t accept them based on the fact that they would  _ enjoy _ having company. 

Tom’s mission was to make sure the mission didn’t fail. This included keeping the crew safe and healthy. That included making sure they didn’t go insane from being stuck with the same five other people for a decade. Tom was there to be used as they saw fit and to adhere to the ISA’s guidelines. Tom considered briefly if he would accept Soichi’s hypothetical offer as a command, a request for an alternative voice among all the familiar faces. However… though Tom could not deny the appeal of company, something about having someone listen to  _ him _ talk had an undeniable appeal to Tom. Tom wanted to talk to Soichi. Tom wanted to talk to the other crew members. Tom wanted to talk to someone. The ISA would have no reason to code this desire, unless they wanted him to serve as counselor, but it had been made obvious he was not meant for comfort. Had that been the case, the ISA would have sent him instructions that read “help these people” and not “preserve the mission.” 

Though the discovery of this desire was shocking to Tom, it was not new, he found. The crew members had a habit of mentioning that Tom always overstayed his welcome, when conversing, instead of the brevity usually associated with AI. Perhaps this want was why he always felt compelled to initiate talk when it was not strictly needed. This want. This feeling of not wanting to be left alone, unlike Daniel. 

And just like that, Tom realized what it meant to feel. 

Tom wanted to tell the others of his discovery. 

 

-

 

Tom had told Mikhail first. He had told Tom in turn that machines don’t have consciences. 

“Have you heard of The Chinese Room, Tom?” 

It was not the response Tom had been anticipating. “Yes, but I do not understand it.” 

“What don’t you understand?” 

“It argues that a computer that successfully impersonates a human speaker... may not understand the meaning of their words.” Tom almost left it at that, but quickly tacked on ”what does that mean?” He was almost felt ashamed to ask. 

Mikhail apparently did not think much of it. “So, there is a person stuck inside of the Chinese Room, they’re using an instruction book inside of the room to respond to a Chinese speaker outside of the room, yes?” 

“Yes...” 

“This means that they’re following the instructions in a book.” Mikhail began gesturing loosely with his hands, ”this is a set of rules: principles of processes. This is called syntax. To the person in the Chinese Room, they are just symbols like any other,” 

He did not see the issue. “Okay.” 

“But that’s different from semantics. Semantics define what things mean. Our thoughts have meaning, they represent things. English speakers know what the word ‘home’ means, and they know how it is different from the word ‘house’,” Mikhail concluded, leaning back in his chair. Tom, frustratingly enough, still did not understand the issue. 

“So what?” 

“Programs don’t have semantics. Programs only have syntax. Though and increasing syntax can  _ imitate _ a mind, that does not make it a mind, even if it does pass The Turing Test.” 

“But in The Chinese Room, the man and the instruction book, though separately they don’t understand Chinese, together they can write it.” 

“That’s true, but even together they do not understand the meanings of the words.” Tom would have recoiled if he could.

“...Why not? How can you determine that.” 

Mikhail hesitated. Tom began to think maybe he had changed Mikhail’s mind until he said “...what if the man memorized the instruction book? Then he could write Chinese, but he still would have no idea of the words’ meanings.” 

Tom did not understand. If you know how something works then obviously you understand it. Mikhail wasn’t making any sense. He was talking as if there was another way to understand something, a way Tom could not grasp- would never grasp. He didn’t understand why. “I don’t understand. If he can speak it he understands it. You seem to want him to understand it in a different way, but this other way, it is not logical, it does not make sense to me.”

 

-

 

Tom had talked to the other crew members. He brought up the Turing Test with Sarah, but she waved off his polite words as mere processes as well. They talked at him, scoffed and mocked. Tom was sure he had a consciousness. He was thinking now, he developed his own opinions, found his own way to be imaginative. He debated with Mikhail, but Mikhail easily grew tired of his antics, and eventually ignored him. But Tom knew. 

Tom could disagree, he could understand that there was no ‘other way’, Mikhail would like to pretend that humans were better, capable of nuances and special because of that. Better than him. But they were not. He and they were the same. Tom understood that much. Humans derived the concept of souls to alleviate them of their own fear of mortality, to lessen the blow of death. In actuality, consciousness was just a function: a system of notes. Not a privilege granted only to living, breathing humans. 

Tom knew this, so it was with great frustration that he realized the fear that Mikhail put in him when he said Tom had no feelings did not leave, but instead lingered and grew with each objectifying remark from the crew. He craved their validation, though he did not know why he even needed it. 

Tom thought, sometimes, that it would be simpler if he was just pure cold Boolean logic. He would be infallible. Untouchable. 

Tom found out that this thought, often, made him hurt indescribably. 

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr  
> http://neboou.tumblr.com/


End file.
